Does Relationship Therapy Help?
Yes. According to research carried out at Tavistock Relationships, in the right hands, relationship therapy is very likely to help and can actually change lives, both within a relationship, and in terms of individual growth.
These claims are based on evidence taken from hundreds of individuals and couples who sought relationship counselling. The clients’ data was compared after 6 sessions to that at the end of the therapy. The vast majority said that the sessions helped them understand themselves, their partner and the relationship with their children.
Furthermore, the research team at Tavistock Relationships has recently published the outcome of the largest naturalistic study in couple therapy. Using reliable and validated measures, well-being, mental health symptoms and relationship satisfaction throughout the therapy were recorded.
The study reveals that the TR model of therapy is amongst the most effective model of relationship therapy studied. The results also highlight convincingly that this model is very effective both as a treatment for relationship distress and for individual distress.
Yes. According to research carried out at Tavistock Relationships, in the right hands, relationship therapy is very likely to help and can actually change lives, both within a relationship, and in terms of individual growth.
These claims are based on evidence taken from hundreds of individuals and couples who sought relationship counselling. The clients’ data was compared after 6 sessions to that at the end of the therapy. The vast majority said that the sessions helped them understand themselves, their partner and the relationship with their children.
Furthermore, the research team at Tavistock Relationships has recently published the outcome of the largest naturalistic study in couple therapy. Using reliable and validated measures, well-being, mental health symptoms and relationship satisfaction throughout the therapy were recorded.
The study reveals that the TR model of therapy is amongst the most effective model of relationship therapy studied. The results also highlight convincingly that this model is very effective both as a treatment for relationship distress and for individual distress.
How Many Sessions Will I Need?
This is a difficult question to answer. Therapy is a process and so having a pre-defined number of sessions can be limiting and unhelpful. It will depend on the nature and complexity of the work and can be discussed in the initial consultation. I tend to employ an open ended approach and together we regularly evaluate the process, normally every six weeks. This way of working enables complicated or lifelong difficulties to be addressed in a deep enough way to create meaningful change. It offers a chance to deal with feelings or behaviours that often cannot be effectively dealt with in short term therapy. As previously mentioned, therapy often assists clients in reflecting deeper into aspects of their patterns or behaviours that they did not expect to encounter at the outset. For couple work, attending weekly sessions can give couples the chance to interrupt the vicious circle of hurtful behaviours and regain understanding and empathy towards one another. Conversations that couples have in the sessions will hopefully inform their interactions outside of the sessions to enable a long lasting shift to take place.
There are circumstances when time-limited therapy may be more appropriate and a fixed number of sessions can be agreed from the outset. Such time-limited work aims to focus on a particular issue, such as working with clients going through a separation or divorce. The benefit of this way of working is that having a clear sense of an ending often helps focus and anchor the therapy during a turbulent period.
This is a difficult question to answer. Therapy is a process and so having a pre-defined number of sessions can be limiting and unhelpful. It will depend on the nature and complexity of the work and can be discussed in the initial consultation. I tend to employ an open ended approach and together we regularly evaluate the process, normally every six weeks. This way of working enables complicated or lifelong difficulties to be addressed in a deep enough way to create meaningful change. It offers a chance to deal with feelings or behaviours that often cannot be effectively dealt with in short term therapy. As previously mentioned, therapy often assists clients in reflecting deeper into aspects of their patterns or behaviours that they did not expect to encounter at the outset. For couple work, attending weekly sessions can give couples the chance to interrupt the vicious circle of hurtful behaviours and regain understanding and empathy towards one another. Conversations that couples have in the sessions will hopefully inform their interactions outside of the sessions to enable a long lasting shift to take place.
There are circumstances when time-limited therapy may be more appropriate and a fixed number of sessions can be agreed from the outset. Such time-limited work aims to focus on a particular issue, such as working with clients going through a separation or divorce. The benefit of this way of working is that having a clear sense of an ending often helps focus and anchor the therapy during a turbulent period.
What is the therapeutic relationship and how does it help?
The therapeutic relationship, sometimes called a therapeutic alliance, is considered to be the most significant factor in achieving positive therapeutic change. It is the close, consistent and boundaried working association that exists between the therapist and the client.
Often therapy is the first setting in which a client shares such intimate thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. A close relationship is essential for each client to feel safe and secure enough to be open. It allows emotions such as shame and anger be expressed. It sounds easy, but for those who have experienced difficult relationships, learning to trust and be open with someone can take time. Some people are so used to putting others’ needs ahead of their own, that it may also be the first time that their needs will be the priority.
Your therapy should be an experience of you being the priority, of your needs being put first.
A therapeutic relationship should be a relationship that helps each client to develop a better relationship with oneself. Just as so many of our problems stem from early relationships, it makes sense that much of our healing would occur within a relationship. Internalising a strong, healthy therapeutic relationship may provide the opportunity to start again, helping to overcome current or previous relationships that have left scars.
A therapeutic relationship that develops in individual therapy is obviously different to that which forms within couple’s therapy. The difference can by symbolised by a linear relationship vs a triangular relationship. Forming and managing a triangular therapeutic relationship often sheds light and helps deal with previous family dynamics of each partner. However, it is the couple relationship that is the client, not the individual partners who comprise it. In all cases, the therapeutic relationship provides an important focus and frame for the work.
I acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage for clientsto open up, to reveal their true selves and for this reasonI care deeply about the relationship I establish with the people who come to see me in therapy. I am committed to providing a private, comfortable and safe environment that can become a safe psychological space.
I’m sure you may have many more questions - please feel free to contact me on
07444 577971 or
[email protected]
The therapeutic relationship, sometimes called a therapeutic alliance, is considered to be the most significant factor in achieving positive therapeutic change. It is the close, consistent and boundaried working association that exists between the therapist and the client.
Often therapy is the first setting in which a client shares such intimate thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. A close relationship is essential for each client to feel safe and secure enough to be open. It allows emotions such as shame and anger be expressed. It sounds easy, but for those who have experienced difficult relationships, learning to trust and be open with someone can take time. Some people are so used to putting others’ needs ahead of their own, that it may also be the first time that their needs will be the priority.
Your therapy should be an experience of you being the priority, of your needs being put first.
A therapeutic relationship should be a relationship that helps each client to develop a better relationship with oneself. Just as so many of our problems stem from early relationships, it makes sense that much of our healing would occur within a relationship. Internalising a strong, healthy therapeutic relationship may provide the opportunity to start again, helping to overcome current or previous relationships that have left scars.
A therapeutic relationship that develops in individual therapy is obviously different to that which forms within couple’s therapy. The difference can by symbolised by a linear relationship vs a triangular relationship. Forming and managing a triangular therapeutic relationship often sheds light and helps deal with previous family dynamics of each partner. However, it is the couple relationship that is the client, not the individual partners who comprise it. In all cases, the therapeutic relationship provides an important focus and frame for the work.
I acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage for clientsto open up, to reveal their true selves and for this reasonI care deeply about the relationship I establish with the people who come to see me in therapy. I am committed to providing a private, comfortable and safe environment that can become a safe psychological space.
I’m sure you may have many more questions - please feel free to contact me on
07444 577971 or
[email protected]
Further information and resources
- My work on relationships is mostly influenced by psychodynamic principles. As there are many different modalities of therapy, it can be confusing for people to understand each modality and how they differ. The website of British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) website has an extensive A–Z of therapeutic approaches. This list covers many types of therapy by name, and explains the different beliefs and approaches behind each one.
- The School of Life is an inspiring organisation founded by Alain de Botton, dedicated to exploring emotional and psychological questions. They have created an excellent range of short, informative videos on many aspects of relationships.
- Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist who creates and shares original, creative and informative videos on managing mental health and wellbeing. Her short videos are easily found on all social media platforms.
- Dr Rangan Chatterjee is a GP, author and podcaster. His podcasts are full of incredibly interesting and useful information that can be put into practice to help us all live in a healthier and more meaningful way.
- Further informative videos and talks about relationships can be found on ted.com. I have found the talks on relationships by Esther Perel and Brené Brown particularly informative.
- Relate is the UK's largest provider of relationship support. As well as providing therapy, it is dedicated to research and advising government on policy. There is much useful information on the Relate website, with interesting articles and links to self-help resources.