As a couple therapist, an important aspect of my work is with couples and individuals who are considering, going through or have gone through a separation or divorce. This is a service that provides an opportunity to think about your individual situation with the overall aim of fostering development for all concerned.
I recognise that the process of separation and divorce is more stressful than the physical separation and can have many more long lasting effects than one may think of at the time. This is a process as opposed to a one-off event and it will stir up difficult feelings at different times.
Therapy helps to support such couples and individuals by giving them a space and forum in which to reflect and understand how they got to this point. I encouragecuriousity about the (ex-) partner’s point of view and encourage both to keep in mind that the other’s seemingly difficult behaviour may be a way of them expressing their painful feelings about the divorce, loss of the relationship and of the family unit.
The therapeutic space can help both partners think about their history of negative communication patterns, to take responsibility for what has happened in the relationship and to help them understand the impact they have had on each other. If two individuals can begin to take on some kind of responsibility or understanding for their part in the marriage, and to reflect on the loss and change that they are going through, then in my experience the pain of the divorce is lessened and it is easier for them to move on with their lives and easier to stop blaming each other.
I recognise that the process of separation and divorce is more stressful than the physical separation and can have many more long lasting effects than one may think of at the time. This is a process as opposed to a one-off event and it will stir up difficult feelings at different times.
Therapy helps to support such couples and individuals by giving them a space and forum in which to reflect and understand how they got to this point. I encouragecuriousity about the (ex-) partner’s point of view and encourage both to keep in mind that the other’s seemingly difficult behaviour may be a way of them expressing their painful feelings about the divorce, loss of the relationship and of the family unit.
The therapeutic space can help both partners think about their history of negative communication patterns, to take responsibility for what has happened in the relationship and to help them understand the impact they have had on each other. If two individuals can begin to take on some kind of responsibility or understanding for their part in the marriage, and to reflect on the loss and change that they are going through, then in my experience the pain of the divorce is lessened and it is easier for them to move on with their lives and easier to stop blaming each other.
A paradox of divorce is that a couple need to work together more than ever before if they have children. The process of separating involves multiple changes and transitions for a family. It is so important to understand the potential negative impact of parental conflict on children and to acknowledge that couples with children will be involved in each other’s lives, through their children, long after a divorce. Finding a way to make sense of the poor relationship, to take some responsibility and be less blaming and less defensive with each other as co-parents, is in the childrens’ best interests.
This is not a mediation service, but one that provides emotional and practical understanding and support. I have good knowledge and experience of the legal process of divorce. When working with divorcing couples, I attempt to separate out the legal, one-dimensional and concrete divorce from the emotional, multi-faceted divorce. I help contain the feelings about the legal process and not let the fall-out from uncomfortable allegations or the petition set the tone. In my experience, the consulting room can become a place to detoxify some of what has to happen on the legal side, which at times can be highly inflammatory.
This is not a mediation service, but one that provides emotional and practical understanding and support. I have good knowledge and experience of the legal process of divorce. When working with divorcing couples, I attempt to separate out the legal, one-dimensional and concrete divorce from the emotional, multi-faceted divorce. I help contain the feelings about the legal process and not let the fall-out from uncomfortable allegations or the petition set the tone. In my experience, the consulting room can become a place to detoxify some of what has to happen on the legal side, which at times can be highly inflammatory.
How this works in practice
After our initial communication, ideally over the phone, I will send both partners a detailed questionnaire. This contains questions about you, your partner and asks for your thoughts on your current situation. You will not see each other’s questionnaires. I ask you to return them to me before our first meeting as it is important for you to start thinking about this before we meet and gives me a preliminary chance to think about your situation.
A consultation comprises of 3 appointments, each lasting one hour and 15 minutes. Ideally these sessions will take place a week apart, but we can be flexible to suit work schedules.
As this is an uncertain and confusing period in your life with potentially a lot of change, this service doesn’t require an on-going commitment. However, it is a service that is committed to thinking about you and your situation. Having 3 sessions gives you and I together a proper chance to think about each of you, your situation and what is important. Following on from the three sessions, you may wish to proceed to have another 3 sessions, and so on.
After our initial communication, ideally over the phone, I will send both partners a detailed questionnaire. This contains questions about you, your partner and asks for your thoughts on your current situation. You will not see each other’s questionnaires. I ask you to return them to me before our first meeting as it is important for you to start thinking about this before we meet and gives me a preliminary chance to think about your situation.
A consultation comprises of 3 appointments, each lasting one hour and 15 minutes. Ideally these sessions will take place a week apart, but we can be flexible to suit work schedules.
As this is an uncertain and confusing period in your life with potentially a lot of change, this service doesn’t require an on-going commitment. However, it is a service that is committed to thinking about you and your situation. Having 3 sessions gives you and I together a proper chance to think about each of you, your situation and what is important. Following on from the three sessions, you may wish to proceed to have another 3 sessions, and so on.